Wednesday, September 16, 2009

CAUTION *This blog contains fowl language in a humorous nature*

Okay, so the past 2 days my horoscope has pretty much been all about sex. It tells me that me and my partner will have an amazing night and so on..
Not funny to a single person!
It always talks about me and my partner and how great our love is or could be and then at the end I get the knife in the stomach turned even more. I get something like this: "If you're single curl up with a good book."
When will horoscopes just come out and say it? "curl up with a good book you LONER!"
So today this is what I get:
(according to MSN)
May 21 - June 21
***Love is very much in the air today, dear Gemini, so be sure to take advantage of this auspicious environment! Invite your loved one over for an afternoon of play. You could play hide-and-seek under the bed covers! If you do not have a playmate in your life at the moment, find other ways to fulfill the passion you are feeling. Spend the afternoon reading a trashy novel, or invite a friend over to watch a movie with your favorite hot celebrity. Take a break, and clear your system.***
So basically it's telling me to either get fucked or fuck myself.
Thank you MSN. Thank you.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Frustrations...they can never come at a better time

I cannot stand being told that I am not doing anything.
It may look like to you that I'm not. I am. I'm trying very hard. I don't care what you say. I guess if I didn't do it your way it wasn't done right.
Where is the love?
I do not sit on my ass and wait for people to do other things for me. Haven't we gone over this before? (scrolls 4 blogs down)

So I have a car insurance to pay now (OK, saw that coming. Fine.)
plus gas (okay, already been paying gas. and yes, it was more than just $10 or $15. I actually filled the tank all but 1 time (where I did put $15 in because it was on half a tank already.) Fine again, no big deal.) and I owe money for previous bills, not to mention the bills I am still paying today. 1 managed to be paid off completely (that doesn't mean the loaner is but still..).
I have to do all this on a $8an hour wage.
Suggestions, anyone? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller??
Don't say "get another job". I thought about it and it wont fit.

*cue in long exaspperated sigh*

What do you do when you hit a wall? *Besides say "ow!"*
With everything I am trying to do for school and get financial aid sorted and work, it's so frustrating. and don't tell me "that's life" because that shit is getting annoying. How come no one can give me a good answer? Why does it always get brought down to "suck it up" or "that's life"?

Why can I not write or say anything without anyone telling me that I am dramatic?
That right there is annoying.
Writing is my outlet. Deal with it. I think it's easier to write things out. It gets the message across much more clearer. Because to be talking turns into yelling. You not listenening to me turns into me not listening to you.
Don't come at me and then turn around 10minutes later and want something. You hate when I do it. Don't do it to me.

Whatever. It will be over right? Some good will come out of all this right? I'll do something good in someone's eyes won't I? Someone will tell me "good job", "proud of you", "wow, you're great!" someday won't they?

Question is...when?

“Through self-doubt, we lose our sense of self-worth."

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Fall Beginnings

HAPPY 9/9/09. (Happy Birthday to my brother!)
Fall is upon us. We can now enjoy the days of school and watch the leaves change and fall.
Up here in Virginia the changing of the leaves have begun in some places.
So I am now enrolled until December. 3 classes this semester; 1 online.
History and an English Writing Class take up my Monday and Wednesdays. Concepts of Personal and Community Health is online.
It's a nice schedule that coexists with that of my work schedule (thank God!).
I love school. I don't know why but for some reason I really love being in class. I know that's hard for a student to say but really..I love it. I just hope I don't fall like the leaves!

This Fall I'm going to try and do some photos.
Starting up my amatuer photography again.
I will try and post some of my photos on here. I call it "My Life Through a Digital Camera."
I like to use disposable's because I can hang the pictures in a colage-sort-of-way on my wall.
I'll try and get some pictures up here when I have time.